Perfection (or the Illusion of It)
by Tanglepelt
Summary: "Looks like we both know what it feels like to be betrayed by the person we loved most," America stated. "And to betray said person." Lithuania wrung her hands. America and Lithuania realize they have more in common than they thought. AmeLiet, Nyotalia. Rating is more of a strong T, but rated M to be safe.


**Hello, readers! This fic is written in honor of Femslash February! So enjoy some Nyo!AmeLiet. This is a companion fic to 'Rebellion of the Weakest', and while that one is not needed to understand this one, I highly recommend reading it if you haven't done so, yet.**

 **This was a challenging story to write because I am not used to focusing so much on the 'pairing' aspect of fics. Also, just as a warning, this will have more mature content than my other works, though still keeping the T-rating. (It'll be heavy implications rather than actual smut, but still.) I've just rated it M to be safe.**

 **Pairings: Nyo!AmeLiet, past Nyo!PoLiet, past Nyo!Ameripan**

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 **Perfection (Or the Illusion of It)**

"Your hair looks different," America mused, running her fingers through some loose strands that had removed themselves from her companion's braid.

Lithuania stiffened. Her hair had always been a sensitive topic, especially after the fifties, when a badly-thought out gesture of solidarity turned into one of the lowest points of her captivity in Russia's cold manor.

"I suppose it does," she finally responded with, trying to add some warmth to her cold words. "We haven't seen one another in awhile, after all."

"Again with the formalities. Dude, you've been livin' at my house for a week." America rolled her eyes, though there was obvious humor in the gesture. "In all seriousness, though, are you okay? It's only been half a year since your independence."

"Thank you for reminding me of that fact, Amelia; I wasn't sure how long it had been," Lithuania retorted dryly. She forgot just how _good_ it felt to use sarcasm (and not get beaten for it). "I am fine, though. This transitional period can be awkward at times, but it will all be worth it. I'm just lucky I was able to take a vacation."

"Awkward for you, or awkward for your country?" America gently cupped the shorter Nation's face in her hands so that their eyes met.

Lithuania pulled away, unable to meet her former lover's gaze any longer. Truth be told, the amount of freedom she now had was actually overwhelming her to the point of giving her (even more) anxiety.

"Hey." America pulled her closer, like she used to when they were lovers. Despite all the trauma of the USSR era, Lithuania fell back into their old routine instantly. She relaxed in the blonde's embrace, her feet now on the couch they were sitting on.

"You don't have to pretend to be strong, or do too many things at once. Straining yourself isn't healthy," America continued, her voice barely a whisper.

Lithuania sighed. It was too easy to let her guard down with America, at least romantically. While they had never technically broken up after the twenties, war and politics and Russia had forced them apart. She still had feelings for her former housemate, and by the way America was cuddling with her, she assumed she felt the same.

The two sat silently for awhile, their arms wrapped around each other tightly. And when the quiet got stale, America did what she did best: talk.

"How are the others doing?" From their position, the blonde's breath tickled Lithuania's ear, causing her to shudder, though not unpleasantly.

"Estonia is reaching out to the Nordics," Lithuania began. "I hear what people say about her behind her back, that she's whoring herself out to those five so she can become one of them. That couldn't be farther from the truth, and when Denmark heard that going around, she nearly lost it. The Nordics and Estonia? They've been good friends for years. I know it was supposed to be a joke, but after all she's been through? After all w _e've_ been through? It affected her more than they'd ever know. Western Europeans just don't understand… Estonia's coping mechanism is different than Latvia's and mine, though that doesn't make it any less valid. She's so sensitive that too many emotions overload her quickly. And then she feels the need to run, to move onto something, someone, that doesn't remind her of what happened. The Nordics fill that role for her, and who am I to take that comfort away?"

She paused, waiting for America to jump in and say something, though she was met with silence.

"Latvia's strength is returning every day, and she's found friends in Iceland and Sealand. However, she's very self-conscious around them. Hopefully, time will help her bloom socially."

"And what about you?" America finally spoke.

Lithuania stiffened. "I…I'm doing the best I can, at the moment."

"I heard that you were living with Poland again."

"It was her idea."

The sentence must have come out more embittered than she intended, since America looked at her quizzically.

"Are you two okay?"

 _As okay as it can be living with an old flame and former friend who stole your heart…_ Every single time the shorter woman mentioned 'Wilno', Lithuania resisted the urge to slap her, to scream in her face that first of all it's _Vilnius_ , and second of all, she was only there with her for convenience's sake.

Okay, maybe the second part wasn't entirely true; no matter how angry she was at Poland, the shorter woman always made her feel oddly safe. _The perks of once sharing an empire with her, I guess…_

She was snapped out of her thoughts when America rubbed her shoulder, looking at her inquisitively.

"I spaced, sorry." She still didn't meet the blonde's eyes. "Yeah, we're okay."

America didn't look totally convinced, but to her credit, she didn't pry. Instead, she lowered herself until her head rested against the armrest, and she gently pulled Lithuania on top of her.

"Something you said back in the fifties still haunts me."

Puzzled by the non-sequitur, Lithuania narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"Back when Russia shaved your heads that one time, and you broke down in the bathroom during the world meeting? When I wanted to bash some heads in so you wouldn't have to live with Russia anymore? You said 'this isn't a book', and that there wasn't going to be a happy ending."

"What made you think of that?" Lithuania squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push the unpleasant thoughts of that particular meeting out of her mind; she didn't want to panic in America's house, for God's sake!

"I just wanted to tell you that, now that Russia's out of your life, that…that you can have a book ending, now. With me. If you want to."

The discomfort Lithuania previously felt evaporated, warmth blossoming in its place. Though it was clumsy, the brunette found America's approach to be…endearing. Just like how it had been in the twenties.

"I'd like that."

Before Lithuania could say anything more, America pressed her lips against her own. She returned the gesture wholeheartedly, recalling how much she missed this closeness. And how much she currently craved it.

As their kisses became much more heated, America shimmied out of her clothes in a fluid way that fascinated Lithuania. The brunette started to unbutton her shirt, but was stopped by America.

"Do you want to take this further? Because if you're not comfortable, we can totally stop now."

If this was back in the twenties, she would have nodded embarrassingly, and they'd go to bed. But now? She took a deep breath. She was ready.

Smiling, she undid the rest of her buttons and clumsily yanked her pants off. She sat on the couch in her underwear and looked at America, her newfound confidence allowing her to raise an eyebrow wryly as she slowly shed her remaining clothing.

Suddenly, America embraced her again, her kisses intensifying. Soon, she moved her hands from her back, to her hips, and then lower. As they reached their target, Lithuania closed her eyes, pressing herself against the blonde.

/

After making love, Lithuania realized they must have dozed off, since the two of them were intertwined, still naked, on the couch, a blanket wrapped around them. She waited until America was awake before she sat up, blinking the tiredness out of her eyes.

"Well, that was not what I was expecting," America chuckled, rubbing a hand through her now incredibly-messy hair.

Self-consciousness suddenly overtook Lithuania. "Was I not good enough?"

"No! That's not what I meant at all!" America blushed, trying to fix her blunder. "What I meant was that I wasn't expecting you'd be so…experienced."

Lithuania wasn't sure if hearing that helped, or made it worse. "This wasn't my first time, you know. I've been with another." Old dark thoughts, mostly centered on how many religious rules she'd already broken, flitted through her mind, though she pushed them away.

"Poland." It wasn't a question.

Lithuania suddenly felt sick. "I…I'm sorry." She started to get up, though America grabbed her hand.

"Hey. We're Nations; we've been around for centuries. I wasn't expecting to be the first one with you in that way. I've had others too, you know."

"Oh?" The way America told stories, no matter what they were, always made her smile. Even if it was about something as personal as people she slept with.

"Japan." America's eyes suddenly turned sad. "She came to visit the Panama-Pacific International Exhibition in 1915. My people were so cruel to her and her people, then. I took her in, we started talking, and the rest was history. Let me tell you, she was not a fragile flower in bed, that's for sure!"

Suddenly embarrassed, she turned away.

"Even when we ended our intimate relations, we still had a deep bond. And then the war happened." America's voice cracked, and Lithuania pulled her to her chest, rubbing her shoulders like she would do for Latvia and Estonia whenever they were upset. "My people were angry. I was angry. But my government didn't ask for my permission when they dropped those bombs. Looking back, I'm glad they didn't. Because at the time, if I was asked, I don't know what my answer would have been, and I don't think I could have lived with myself later if I said 'yes'. It was a difficult time… For both of us."

This was the first time Lithuania had seen America cry, and it made her sick. Though there were some obvious differences, the blonde's relationship with Japan shared a lot of similarities to her own relations with Poland. _Maybe we're more similar than I thought…_

"Poland and I had our share of squabbles, but the final straw was when she took Vilnius from me. And she doesn't see why that was a problem, even if it was returned to me. Obviously our relations haven't been the best. She doesn't understand how much she hurt me, so I guess she in turn probably feels hurt by my negative reactions towards her, especially since we were together for so long." There, she finally said it. And damn it, it felt good. Like a weight had been lifted from her.

"Looks like we both know what it feels like to be betrayed by the person we loved most." America stated.

"And to betray said person." Lithuania wrung her hands.

While both nations knew that there was more to it than that, they ended the discussion there.

Lithuania knew that they were both far from perfect, that their world was far from perfect, but sitting on the couch with only a blanket wrapped around them for clothing, locked in a bittersweet embrace, she was content to pretend they were, at least for awhile.

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 **Historical note:**

 **In 1915, San Francisco hosted the Panama-Pacific International Exhibition. It was supposed to feature a Japanese dance troupe, but, due to the way the women were dressed (in traditional kimono), they were assumed to be prostitutes and were detained. There, they were humiliated with countless questions aimed at their womanhood and sexuality. (And the troupe was not the only incident of this; this was quite common, during this time period.) I did one of my long-term semester projects on the simultaneous fetishization and demonization of Japanese immigrant/visiting women from 1900-1930, so if anyone wants more information on this topic (as well as good books to read up on it), send me an ask/message.**

 **Taken from Vilnius' Wikipedia page (because I was too lazy to paraphrase it myself, XD): 'On 9 October 1920, the Polish Army surreptitiously, under General Lucjan Żeligowski, seized Vilnius during an operation known as Żeligowski's Mutiny. The city and its surroundings were designated as a separate state, called the Republic of Central Lithuania. On 20 February 1922 after the highly contested election in Central Lithuania, the entire area was annexed by Poland, with the city becoming the capital of the Wilno Voivodship (Wilno being the name of Vilnius in Polish). Kaunas then became the temporary capital of Lithuania. Lithuania vigorously contested the Polish annexation of Vilnius, and refused diplomatic relations with Poland.'**

 **And also:**

' **On 19 September 1939, Vilnius was seized by the Soviet Union (which invaded Poland on 17 September). The USSR and Lithuania concluded a mutual assistance treaty on 10 October 1939, with which the Lithuanian government accepted the presence of Soviet military bases in various parts of the country. On 28 October 1939, the Red Army withdrew from the city to its suburbs (to Naujoji Vilnia) and Vilnius was given over to Lithuania.'**


End file.
